While the Christian community revels in the joy of not needing to wear masks to church, you must, on balance, recognize that there is a downside to this development. Prepare yourself for these ways not wearing a mask will complicate your church life.
· Women will need to apply makeup to the bottom half of their faces.
· Men who shave will need to be more thorough.
· You’ve lost a great excuse for not recognizing someone you’ve met several times.
· The music minister can see whether you’re singing the hymns.
· The pastor knows you’re not laughing at his jokes.
· You’ve lost this decade’s unique opportunity to accessorize with excellence.
· You must face the sad truth that your ears do really stick out—it’s not just the elastic from the mask pulling them down.
· You need to revise your “Do you have…?” list you recite to your spouse before you leave home (Bible, cell phone, and offering remain on the list).
· You’ll feel strangely frightened when you sing “Breathe on Me.”
· People will know you aren’t really a ventriloquist.
· You can no longer make an off the wall comment in your Bible study group in an altered voice and get away with it.
· You’ll face the tough fact that some people really do mumble when they speak.
· You’ll no longer be able to start a hallway conversation with “Where did you get that cute mask?” or “Who is that masked man?”
· You’ve lost your facial billboard for supporting your favorite team.
· You’ll realize that some people weren’t distancing themselves from you because you forgot your mask—they really don’t like you.