The Many Ways We Call Her Blessed

The Many Ways We Call Her Blessed

You are blessed if you have someone in your life who looks upon you and sees someone beautiful.  But how rare and how special is a person everyone sees as beautiful?  Donna Taylor Mayes was one of those people.  Everyone who knew her experienced her as a beautiful lady, a wonderful human being, a shining witness for Jesus Christ.  

 How do you express your gratitude for knowing and loving such a person?  As it so often does, the Bible gives us a great place to begin.  In Proverbs 31, in the description of a godly woman, we’re given a picture of how we can best respond to such a life. 

(Prov. 31:28-29) Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ²⁹ "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."

All of us have many reasons to rise today and call Donna blessed, to remember the loving impact she’s had upon our lives and to praise God for the blessing of knowing and loving her.  And as we call her blessed, we can call Donna by many names, many titles, that reflect the multitude of ways we give thanks for her today. 

Donna’s siblings can give thanks for Donna by calling her “Mokey Mae.” 

Mokey Mae was a nickname Donna received from her brothers and sisters in their growing up years.  No one seems to know exactly how it started, but all of them know how it stuck.  They remember how six siblings grew up together in the Winnsboro community.  In that circle of brothers and sisters, Donna sometimes described herself as the “favorite sister,” far preferable to being called the “middle child.”  In response, her loving brothers and sisters would insist that Donna was adopted. 

They remember Christmases when brother Steve would like across the foot of Donna’s bed while the kids discussed whether Santa had yet made his appearance. 

They cherish memories of family trips to the beach in the days when Myrtle Beach was a place to rent a house for a week for your family, meet other vacationing families and become friends. 

They remember school days when, in one breath, they’d blame each other for any trouble in which they found themselves but, then, in the next breath, would stand up for each other against all foes. 

Donna and her brothers and sisters didn’t leave those family ties behind in childhood.  Ann says her sister grew up to be her best friend.  Steve says you didn’t have to be around them long to feel the bond of family.  What a blessing sharing those early years of Donna’s life was to you all. 

We can also bless Donna’s life by calling her Cheerleader.

Are any of you surprised that Donna was a cheerleader?  Not at all, I’m sure.  If anyone had the gift of cheering others on to do and be their best, it was Donna.  She did it for her high school teams, serving as the Head Cheerleader.  But Donna never stopped being a cheerleader.  She cheered on her Tigers through good seasons and bad.  She watched many games while shooting group texts back and forth with her siblings, play by play.  But more importantly, Donna was an enthusiastic encourager of everyone she met.  When you knew she was in your corner, you had the inner confidence you could do great things.  She did that for her family, each of you through your times of victory and the times you had to pick yourselves up and try again.  She cheered on this church, its life and its mission.  And, I’m thankful to say, she cheered on her staff, including me.  She always had a good word to say about her ministers.  I know pastors are to seek God’s approval, not the praise of people, but having a few cheerleaders in your life, like Donna, certainly made the work more joyful. 

We bless Donna’s life today as we think of her as Vern’s Leading Lady

Vern and Donna met when she was 15 ½ years old (I haven’t counted half years in a long time).  They met at the beach and were soulmates and sweethearts for 51 years.  I loved to be around Donna and Vern because they were so crazy about each other.  I love to be around people in love.  Donna often bragged on Vern, saying he treated her like a queen.  He was always the gentleman, always the romantic, always the helper, the fixer, the provider.  He saw the value of opening the door for her and sliding her chair to the table when you ate together. 

Of the many tender memories Donna shared with me about her love for Vern and his for her, this one, I believe, is my favorite.  On many evenings, Vern would crank up some of his favorite music and the two of them would dance until long after midnight.  I’ve never known anyone to regret dancing with the one you love.  I’ve known many who regretted they didn’t seize the moment to celebrate their love for each other. 

Donna’s love for Vern was tender, but it was also strong.  We all saw that during the long days and nights of Vern’s illness—the trips to the doctor, the treatments, the endless hours she spent by his side in the hospital.  She held him in her loving arms until God took Vern in His arms and took him home. 

At Vern’s funeral, almost four years ago now, I told Donna this: 

Donna, you haven’t danced your last dance with Vern. 

You haven’t heard him sing for the last time. 

Your love story has paused, but hasn’t ended. 

And I believe those words have now come true.  My confidence in that happy reunion comes from another reason we have to bless Donna’s life. 

Donna was a Contagious Christian

Donna loved and lived for Jesus.  She was one of those people you watched and would say, “If that’s what following Jesus looks like, I want to follow Jesus too!”  She was a winsome witness to everyone, but she also knew that she would do her most important work for Christ at home. 

Her boys, Blake and Brandon, remember that their mom insisted that they go with her to church and that they do so, “with their shirts tucked in.”  They participated in the many youth ministries, trips and retreats this church offered them. 

More than that, Donna’s boys grew up knowing that the church met at their house, not just God’s house.  For many years, they shared morning devotions with their mom over the breakfast she cooked.  She fed their bodies and their souls before sending them out into the world to face the day. 

Blake and Brandon bless their sweet mom because she helped them build a personal faith, a faith to follow and, at times, a faith to come home to.  Guys, the greatest way you can honor your mother is to do what she asked you to in the obituary she wrote, “Live your life to honor God.”  

Donna’s Christianity was also contagious in her marriage.  There was a time when Vern wasn’t deeply involved in the faith or the church.  Donna, for a time, had to practice her faith and lead her sons in the faith, almost alone.  What do you do when your spouse doesn’t share your deep love for your Lord?  Donna didn’t lecture Vern.  She didn’t try to argue him to Jesus.  She lived the faith while loving her husband and Vern caught a bad case of Christianity from her.  She loved him into a deep love for and devotion to Christ.  He may be thanking her for that right now. 

We bless Donna’s life as a Homemaker

Donna loved her family through many expressions of caring and provision. 

The boys remember special dishes like crockpot macaroni and cheese and broccoli casserole. 

They remember their friends coming home with them because the food was so good and Donna extended hospitality to everyone.  Those same friends learned to check out the cookie jar when they visited because some homemade cookies were always waiting to be enjoyed. 

Donna planned the family menu primarily around what Vern liked to eat because he had worked hard all day and deserved a meal he enjoyed.  This left the boys with the “take it” or “leave it” option and the duty to say “I enjoyed my dinner” even if it was stewed tomatoes and rice. 

Donna provided for the people she loved in many ways, but perhaps the best gift she offered was her wisdom. 

We bless Donna for being a faithful Life Coach

Donna was a teacher of the art of living.  She had many students because she had the gift of connecting with any person she met.  She could share conversation with royalty and with the down and out. 

She knew how to listen.  So many people are ready to dump advice on you, if it’s what you need or not, but Donna knew that loving begins with listening.  She’s let you vent your frustrations and disappointments if you needed to, knowing that getting such pain out in the open in a safe place is good medicine. 

But even as she knew that was a time to listen, there was a time to speak.  And as the Proverbs say, “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. (Prov. 31:26 NIV)

When her boys were young, they helped themselves to some chocolate coins at the Romain Drive Zippy Mart.  When Vern arrived home with the boys and the crime was revealed, Donna sent them back to the store with the very specific assignment of returning what they had taken and apologizing to the store owner.  A tough day for a little boy, but a big lesson in owning up to your mistakes and making things right. 

As the boys grew and Donna would hear them speak of their friends, she would sometimes ask, “I hear you speak of him often.  Why haven’t I met him yet?”  If she wasn’t satisfied with the answer, without judging her sons’ friends, she’d say, “If there’s a reason you don’t want me to meet this friend, there may be a reason why you shouldn’t be spending time with him.”  Wow.  What a teacher.

You’re going to miss your mom’s wisdom.  You’re going to pick up the phone to call her and put it down in tears.  But I think you’ll find that much of her lives on in you.  You’ll often know what she would say.  You’ll understand what she’d ask you to do.  And she will continue to bless your life. 

I want to name one more way in which we bless Donna’s life today. 

We praise her because we can now call her “Victorious”

We’re grateful that Donna lived until she died.  We’ll remember her as being full of life and love.  But her sudden passing leaves us in shock, with the reality of our loss sinking into our numb hearts a little at a time.  But as her death becomes more and more real to you, may her hope, her confidence in Christ, her assurance of her eternal destiny also become real to your hearts.  Donna belonged to Jesus.  And so, for her, death is not defeat.  Death is not the end.  Death doesn’t have the final word.  Donna can now shout on heaven’s shore, in the words of scripture,

(1 Corinthians 15:54) "Death has been swallowed up in victory."

We can share that victory with Donna one day. 

We can face today and every tomorrow with courage and hope. 

We can know that our lives are worth the living because we know Jesus lives. 

Thankfulness is a Key to Happiness

The year before Linda and I married, I lived in a tiny second-floor apartment near the hospital where I was working.  My downstairs neighbor was an elderly gentleman, Lloyd Wood, who lived there by himself.  I would see him sometimes as I was leaving for work or returning home.  I’d see him take walks on days when the weather permitted.  What struck me most about Lloyd was the sweetness of his spirit.  He seemed to see life and all that was in it as beautiful.  He didn’t have to see life that way.  He lived alone.  His wife had passed away years earlier.  He had no children.  He didn’t have many visitors.  But when I crossed paths with Lloyd, I would think, “I want to see life that way.  I wonder how that happened for him.” 

Then, early one morning, I found out.  I was still in bed, somewhere between dreamland and reality.  The building was very quiet, but in the stillness of those waking up moments, I heard something.  I heard a voice which, of course, concerned me, at least a little.  After listening in stillness a while longer, I realized I was hearing my downstairs neighbor’s voice.  Lloyd was praying.  I couldn’t understand many of the words, but I could hear the melody of his voice.  He was giving thanks.  Lloyd was praising God.  He began his day by blessing the Lord and remembering his many benefits.  I believe the way Lloyd practiced gratitude was the source of his happy life.  The scriptures challenge us to…

(1 Thessalonians 5:18) Give thanks in all circumstances;

for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Don’t misunderstand.  Paul isn’t saying that you are supposed to enjoy all circumstances or do nothing to change bad circumstances.  He’s not even saying that every circumstance in which you find yourself is what God wants for you.  What he’s saying is that because you belong to Jesus, because you have the strength and security of being God’s beloved child, find a reason to thank God in every situation.  That holy habit, that spiritual discipline, that cultivated attitude of thankfulness will bring you happiness. 

If you use a computer, you’ve probably faced the challenge of remembering passwords.  You have this powerful machine ready to do amazing things for you, but you can’t remember which of your pets or grandchildren or favorite sports teams you used to create that password you just knew you could never forget.  The password opens the door (or the Windows) for great things to happen. 

When Eugene Petersen translated Psalm 100 for The Message paraphrase, listen to how he rendered verse 4,

(Psalm 100:4, Msg) Enter with the password: “Thank you!”
         Make yourselves at home, talking praise. Thank him.

 Worship him.

The password for entering into God’s presence, the place where you know you’re loved, where you find forgiveness, where you remember what matters, where you renew your strength, the password to that place is “Thank you!”

You build happiness on the inside with an attitude of thankfulness. 

Not Everyone Gets to Vote on Who You Are

When I served as a hospital chaplain, I made friends with a mental health counselor named Bomar Edmonds who worked just across the parking lot from the hospital and was a consultant to the chaplain’s department.  One day, Bomar and I sat down to eat lunch together.  He asked, “How’s your morning been?” then probably regretted he asked.  I’d just come out of my hour-long quarterly evaluation, a gathering of helping professionals who review your written summary of your work, then question you about any and everything related to your ministry.  The process can be grueling, especially when members of the evaluation committee try to outdo each other.  I didn’t think my time with the committee had gone very well.  I didn’t like some of the things they said.  I didn’t appreciate the tone of some questions they asked.  You may find this difficult to believe, but , with a “Remember the Alamo” attitude, I dug in my heels and took on the whole lot of them.  When I finished telling my friend, Bomar, about the inquisition I’d survived, he looked at me as he slowly took another bite or two, then added his own evaluation to brighten my day even more. 

“Vaughan, do you know what your problem is?”

“No, Bomar, but I think I’m about to find out.”

“Yes, you are.  Your problem is, you put a judge’s robe on everyone.”

“What in the world does that mean?”

“Apparently, you took what each of those people said about your work as some kind of final verdict about the kind of chaplain and the kind of person you are.  Don’t you think that’s too much power to give a group of people, some of whom you’ve never met before today?” 

“I hadn’t thought about it that way.  You may be right.”

“Of course I’m right.  Everyone has an opinion.  Some opinions are worth listening to and learning from.  Others aren’t.  But you can’t give every person you meet the power to decide who you are.  Most people don’t get a vote in that decision. So stop giving everyone you meet a judge’s robe.  Most of them aren’t qualified to wear it.” 

That’s some of the best advice I’ve ever received.  If he knew it or not, my friend Bomar agreed with the Apostle Paul.  You can’t let just anyone decide who you are.  In fact, for the Christian, only one person makes that decision.  In Romans 8:31-34, Paul explains the key to the internal security of the Christian’s identity. 

I am who God says I am.

Listen to Paul’s argument for that truth. 

If God is for us, who can be against us?  No one has the authority to veto what God has decided about us. 

We are so precious to God that He gave up His own son for us.

If God has declared we are right with Him, who is qualified to condemn us?  No one.

The resurrected Son of God represents us to God.  Who can challenge what He says about us?  No one. 

Not your coworkers

Not your neighbors

Not that circle of friends who don’t seem to accept you

Not your ex. 

Not the weak side of your family. 

And, perhaps, most amazingly, not even you. 

The love of Christ gives you an identity that nothing or no one can take away.  That identity gives you the inner security to live an abundant life.