Highs and Lows in the 50s

 Tomorrow, I turn 60 years old.  This might be a good day to think about the decade of my fifties, ten years of amazing highs and lows.  

After many years of basketball and tennis, I finally blew a disk in my back and, after months of trying everything from physical therapy to injections to procrastination, I gave in for surgery with a very positive outcome.  I returned to basketball and played until I was 52.  

Linda and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary.  A dear friend gave us a week in their beach house at Isle of Palms.  Later, a group of church friends sent us on a two-week trip to Europe.  Linda sedated herself (with doctor-approved medications) to make the flight across the Atlantic.  We had an absolutely wonderful time.  Luckily, she brought me back.  Our 35th is coming this year. 

I've stood on happy holy ground with two of my children as they've found wonderful spouses.  Josh and Jen have made our family more complete.  




Our family has welcomed three little boys into the world who call me by my favorite title, "Papa."  


After decades of waiting for a better time, I've gotten serious about writing a book.  I published "The Stories of My Life," a collection of life experiences that have taught me how to live, have a second book, "Seeing in the Dark" that will be released this year by Smyth and Helwys Publishers, and a third book, "Messages from Mayberry" that I hope will be published soon.  

There have been many highs in the 50s.  I've also seen some lows.  

I survived a long season of depression that took a great toll on me and those who love me.  God has redeemed that dark valley by teaching me some truths I could learn no other way.  He's also opened doors for me to counsel and encourage a circle of fellow strugglers as they journey through their own dark times.  "Seeing in the Dark" is one of the ways I'm sharing what I've learned about the Christian faith and how it speaks to depression.  I'd never sign up for this tough class, but in it I learned a great deal.  

My family and I endured by far the greatest hurt we've ever experienced from a church.  I saw bad people rise to power, lies spread, confidences broken, and many good people sit by and watch.  I'm still waiting and praying for the first day I don't feel the pain of those days.  

But, as often happens, God does His best in the worst of times.  During my 50s I stepped into the pulpit and fell into the arms of a loving congregation who gave me a place to heal and to rediscover the joy of my calling.  I'll always love Parisview Baptist for the way they loved me back to life.  

God wasn't through redeeming those dark days.  He opened a door for me to serve a wonderful congregation that has welcomed and supported my ministry wholeheartedly.  I'm blessed to be the pastor and a member of God's family at St. Andrews Baptist Church.  

During my fifties, my parents' generation of our family circle grew smaller.  Several beloved uncles and aunts finished their journey. Two years ago, my Mom went home.  As difficult as seeing her in the nursing home sometimes was, and as much as I hurt to see many of her memories fade, she ended her earthly journey free and joyful and loving.  A good ending is a great thing.  
I lost many heroes in the past ten years: ministry mentors like Fred Craddock and Bobby Morrow, musical heroes like Doc Watson, Earl Scruggs, and Joe Cocker.  Some days I feel as though I'm running out of heroes.  That, at times, is a lonely feeling. 

My home church closed its doors to combine congregations with another church.  I grieve the end of East Park Baptist Church, but am grateful its ministry in my life goes on and its ministry to Greenville has made a new beginning.  I was honored to be asked to return home to preach on one of the church's final Sundays at 12 Ebaugh Avenue.  

My dad passed away in 1981 at the age of 55.  His early death taught me that life is a gift and a miracle not to be taken for granted.  I receive each day with gratitude.  Through the highs and lows of my fifties, God has blessed me with a truly abundant life.  May God do the same for you. 

Sowing Seeds of Unity

In the past year, I’ve heard a great deal about a divisive spirit at work in our country.  If you’ve watched the news, you’ve, no doubt, heard about it, too. A number of people seem to have fallen prey to an “us” and “them” attitude toward others.  Stories abound of people saying and doing hateful things to people with whom they differ. 

I don’t deny these stories are true, but I want to bear witness to another movement I’ve observed lately.  Again and again, I have crossed paths with people who have gone out of their way to treat me with courtesy and respect.  Many of these people are different from me ethnically, religiously, or socioeconomically.  I have sensed, too often to write off to coincidence, how these very special people are refusing to accept that we must pick up sides and oppose each other.  They have seized opportunities to be my friends and neighbors. 

Linda and the Over-sized Print

Just a few days before Christmas, I was standing in a shopping center parking lot.  Leaning up against my “massive” Toyota Corolla was a framed print I had just picked up from the store, a Christmas gift for Linda.  What I had not considered, in buying this print and having it framed, was that it was too large to fit into any of the four doors or the trunk of my car.  I called my son, Andrew, and asked him to come to his dad’s rescue with his SUV.  While I waited, with numerous persons walking by, looking curiously at the man standing with a framed print beside his car in the parking lot, a lady with a very different ethnic heritage than mine approached me.  She had been waiting in her car for a shopper to emerge from the store when she observed my transportation dilemma.  She said, “Sir, my car is a bit bigger than yours.  I would be happy to take this picture to your home for you.”  I explained that my son was on the way, but that I was touched by her very thoughtful offer.  As we chatted, I learned that she was a woman of deep faith who can see the steeple of SABC from where she works.  I thanked her for being a Good Samaritan to a stranger whose taste in Christmas gifts is bigger than his car. 

Don’t underestimate the power of small expressions of respect, courtesy, concern, and helpfulness to build unity among people.  God’s people can and should lead the way in changing the spirit of the times and bringing people together. 

Facebook Retirement Test

Have you noticed how many social media posts are actually antisocial?  A tool created to bring people together is, instead, driving them apart.  You may be part of the problem.  You may, in fact, need to retire from Facebook.  This test, inspired by Jeff Foxworthy’s famous, “You might be a redneck” test, can help you discover if your time to sign out for the final time may have arrived. 

ü If you post statements that have no more emotional maturity than a five-year-old calling a sibling a “stupid-head,” please leave Facebook until you grow up.

ü If you truly believe that you will change anyone’s mind on controversial issues on Facebook, you may have lost your mind and your right to post on Facebook. 

ü If you forget that every word you post is being archived in the ultimate “cloud,” God’s memory of accountability, then you should repent or retire from Facebook. 

ü If you are giving yourself, your family, your political party, your church, or your country a bad name, you should retire from Facebook, then sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.

ü If you share a post you know nothing about and defend it as though it were Holy Scripture, you may need to retire from Facebook and check your facts. 

ü If you confuse clicking the “Like” button with actually becoming involved in an important issue, you may need to click the “delete this account” button, too. 

ü If you make a strong political statement, then threaten to defriend anyone who disagrees with you, you need to sell your home on Mt. Olympus and retire from Facebook.

ü If you forget that confronting someone on Facebook is the cyber equivalent of embarrassing or even bullying someone in front of a crowd, then you need to retire from Facebook. 

ü If you can’t remember the last time you posted something to comfort or encourage someone else, Facebook doesn’t need your negativity.

ü If your best response to another person’s position amounts to, “Your side is worse,” then make Facebook better by leaving. 

ü If you use Facebook to deal with issues you need to resolve face-to-face and person-to-person, please respect yourself and others enough to retire from Facebook. 

ü If you think Facebook is a way to force people to choose sides in your broken relationship, you need to break up with Facebook.

ü If you post anything you’d be embarrassed to read to your mother, your pastor, or Jesus, you should raise your standards or leave Facebook.

ü If you “like” other people’s posts because you secretly fear you may lose their friendship if you don’t, you may need therapy and a long break from Facebook. 

ü If what you post doesn’t pass the test of Ephesians 4:29, then you may need to hire a spiritual proofreader or retire from Facebook. 

ü If you can’t remember the last time you made others laugh by what you post, you need to lighten up or leave Facebook. 

ü If you use Facebook to demonize or dismiss people with whom you disagree, do the world a favor and sign off. 

ü If you have grown to believe that entering a comment is a suitable substitute for comforting, caring for, and showing up for people in personal crisis, then stop giving friendship a bad name and leave Facebook. 

ü If you repeat the same birthday greeting you see in the previous ten posts, go to the store, read a few Hallmark cards, and post something original. 

ü If your posts are contributing to the extinction of the English language, imagine that your English teacher is grading your post, revise it accordingly, or suspend yourself from Facebook. 

ü If you have ever asked me to prove my friendship with you, my love for America or Jesus, my support for hospital patients, veterans, or abandoned puppies, by daring me to rise above the 97% who are uncaring ogres by copying, pasting and sharing your post, you should be banned from Facebook 97% of the time! 

ü If you haven’t adored any FB pictures of my grandchildren lately, you should DEFINITELY do so today, then send me a gift card. 

So….how did you do on the test?  I didn’t make an “A” either. We can all work together to make social media more sane and sociable.