That Tree’s Not on Our Lot
Linda and I
bought a lot in a new subdivision as a step toward building our first
home. One of the first choices we faced
was which trees we wanted to keep and which ones needed to be cut down. So, covered in insect repellent and armed
with orange plastic tape with which to mark the survivors, we trudged through
the weeds and briers of our new lot, choosing our trees. I came to one particular tree and couldn't
decide. At first, I thought that I
should cut it down to give some other trees around more room and light to grow. Then I thought that I should keep it to keep
the woods around the edge of the lot fairly thick. I couldn’t decide so I sought a second
opinion. I called Linda over to where I
was and asked her what she thought we should do. She looked up at the tree in a moment of deep
thought. She looked at everything around
it, not wanting to make a ruling until she had the bigger picture clearly in
her mind. Then, she offered me her
opinion. She said, "Dee, I don't
think you need to worry about that tree.”
“Not worry about
it? We have to make a decision about
every tree on our lot!” I shot back.
“You don’t have
to make a decision about this tree because it’s not on our lot.”
She was right. In the process of tree-shopping I had
wandered beyond our property line and didn't even know it. Until I saw the line between what was mine
and what was not, I was worried about the wrong tree.
Learning where
the line is drawn can help you make better decisions in relationships too. One of the most painful experiences we face
is rejection. Rejection is never easy,
but we can walk away from rejection with a greater measure of peace if we will
learn where the line of responsibility is drawn between us as we try to share
our lives and faith with others, and those who may reject us.
As Jesus
prepared his disciples to go into the world to serve Him, He gave them and us
this word of guidance,
(Matthew 10:12-13)
As you enter the home, give it your greeting. If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on
it; if it is not, let your peace return to you.
Let
me paraphrase those verses to make the meaning of these customs clearer to
us.
When you come into
someone’s life, offer your love and blessing to them. If they are receptive to that gift of
yourself, then let that blessing rest on that life and make it better. But, if that person rejects you, let your
peace return to you. Don’t let their
rejection take away your happiness.
In the words of
Jesus, the only decision which others make about you is whether they will be
"deserving," receptive toward you.
They decide whether they will receive the love you have to offer. You have no power over their decision. It is on their side of the line. But what many of us fail to see is that there
is another decision, one which is crucial to our finding release from rejection,
which is on our side of the line.
You decide to
let your peace return to you. If your
heart is held captive by rejection, this is the freedom that Christ calls you
to find. We cannot, we must not, let our
happiness be decided by anyone else, especially by those who reject us. That choice is not on their side of the line. Our happiness must be decided only by our
trust in the God whose love doesn't change.
No matter what
others decide about you and the love you offer to them, there is still a
decision on your side of the line, it remains "your peace." Of all of the words of our Lord which we need
to hear and believe, none cry out with a more urgent message for Christians who
live in captivity to rejection,
Let your peace return to you.
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